Dog days and dusk

Gill is running around the garden in circles followed by a puppy. I haven't seen Gill run anywhere for 30 years. She collapses breathless in the dining room, slumped over the table while our new dog looks as if she hasn't even left the starting blocks.

They have rescue homes for abused pets. But what about homes for abused pet owners? We need respite care. I'm starting to develop facial twitches similar to those displayed by Commissioner Dreyfus in the Pink Panther films. In fact I'll never watch 101 Dalmations again without feeling a pang of sympathy for Cruella de Vil.

Today was relatively peaceful. The orchids were attacked again and there was some gnawing to the end of the table, but nothing too serious. Our Westie, Dougie, bore the brunt of the aggravation. Normally he's the most placid dog on the planet but under the severest of provocation he was reduced to a snarling parody of Spike in the Tom and Jerry cartoons. Spike often suffered at the hands of Tom but it was nothing to Dougie's torment faced with Pippa, our mighty atom of a Jack Russell puppy.

There are moments of peace during the day when both dogs are stretched out in their basket and all the pain seems worthwhile. But you know that sooner or later the puppy will awake. An eye opens and fixes me in its glare and I begin to tremble. It's the evenings I dread the most. The moment the sun goes down, she seems to transform herself from a happy-go-lucky pup into a demon with an angel's face. It's unnerving. I showed her my hand and and she licked it before sinking her teeth in to a finger. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

Our only weapon so far as been the box of Iams "proactive nutrition" puppy kibbles that Gill has been using as "recognition" treats. The idea is that she shouts Pippa's name, Pippa comes running and when they have eye contact, the dog gets a treat. She picked that one up fast - that's the dog, not Gill. But I could do with our pup being a bit less proactive.

On the packet it says: "Iams with PreBiotics - helps support healthy digestion and strong defences." That would account for the teeth marks in my finger. I'm thinking of switching to Iams now. It might be the only way to outlast this pint-sized beast.

Our little dog, is peaceful now, curled up asleep with Dougie on his bean bag. Butter wouldn't melt. You could hear a pin drop in our corner of Surrey suburbia. But I'm looking out of the window at the last rays of the sun......